I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
