So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
