u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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