I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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