I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
