Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
