last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
