Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
