May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
