Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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