He is such a slut. More and more my type.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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