We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
