I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
