i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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