so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
