You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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