I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
