So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
