I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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