i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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