ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
