Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
