SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
