I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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