Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
