I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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