are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
