I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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