Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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