If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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