I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
