And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the condom got lost in my hair
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
