ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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