There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
