I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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