There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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