Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
