return my video game
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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