The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This baby is an asshole
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
