my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
