He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
