She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
