you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
