I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
