She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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