A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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