No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
