there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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