i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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