Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
