guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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