but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dick very happy bro
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
